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CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE'S ASSISTANTMovie Reviews
Adventure fantasy about a young outsider who joins a traveling freak show, where he becomes a half vampire and inadvertently disrupts a longstanding truce between rival vampire factions. Cast:John C. Reilly, Ken Watanabe, Chris Massoglia, Josh Hutcherson, Ray StevensonDirector:Paul WeitzRelease Date:October 23, 2009DVD Release:February 23, 2010From:UniversalRating:PG-13Length:1 hr 49 min
FEBRUARY 23, 2010
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant, Weak Reviews
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant played to weak reviews. • Stephen Whitty wrote in the Cleveland Plain-Dealer, "...has no sense of magic or fun; the characters never seem to have anything at stake." • And Peter Hartlaub wrote in the Houston Chronicle, "...has a serious identity crisis, trying to be too many things at once and failing at most of them." More Reviews Below...
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant Positive Reviews (32 Reviews, reviews below)
Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly: WEAK(cg) "Freak cognoscenti sitting near me were underwhelmed, even as a violent showdown had the whole bloody cast flying around and whomping one another."(See all of Lisa Schwarzbaum's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 244 words, 10/23/09
Jake Coyle, Associated Press: WEAK(cg) "...might be the most overstuffed movie of the year.... a high school film crossed with a vampire film crossed with a mutant film crossed with Willem Dafoe cameos."(See all of Jake Coyle's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 708 words, 10/22/09
Thelma Adams, Us Weekly: GOOD (NOT GREAT)(cg) "Riding the 'Twilight' wave of tween fascination with supernatural stories, this glossy fantasy (based on a popular book series) is more snack than banquet."(See all of Thelma Adams's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 92 words, 10/22/09
Claudia Puig, USA Today: GOOD (NOT GREAT)(cg) "Though this genre hybrid is uneven, it offers quite a few laughs, if not all-out scares.... best of all, the movie doesn't take itself too seriously."(See all of Claudia Puig's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 461 words, 10/23/09
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NEW YORK/LOS ANGELES/CHICAGO/TORONTO (10 Reviews)
A.O. Scott, New York Times: FAIR "...incites curiosity tinged with confusion and irritation. It bristles with interesting ideas but tests its viewers' patience even as it strives to build their loyalty."(See all of A.O. Scott's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 844 words, 10/23/09
Elizabeth Weitzman, New York Daily News: GOOD (NOT GREAT)(cg) "...can't top 'Twilight's' gorgeous leads and glam romance. But not every teen can relate to beautiful Bella, or broody Edward. This is the vampire story for them."(See all of Elizabeth Weitzman's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 329 words, 10/23/09
Kyle Smith, New York Post: POOR(cg) "...the overwrought acting seems pitched at 5-year-olds. So is the dialogue. Jokes run along the lines of, 'You'd think a vampire would know better than to stick his neck out.' "(See all of Kyle Smith's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 437 words, 10/23/09
Stephen Cole, Toronto Globe & Mail: MODERATE(cg) "...doesn't have the feel of a franchise-maker. Except for Salma Hayek, there's nothing to ooh or ahh at here. No big, CGI scenes for us to marvel at."(See all of Stephen Cole's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 487 words, 10/23/09
Aaron Hillis, Village Voice/LA Weekly: WEAK "...suffers from the same tonal schizophrenia of that other recent goth wannabe, 'Jennifer's Body': Is it meant to be scary or funny? Oops, it's neither."(See all of Aaron Hillis's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 268 words, 10/21/09
Desson Thomson, Washington Post: MODERATE(cg) "...bland and dull. If serious, hard-core vampire movies for adults are the equivalent of spicy bloody marys, think of this as a watered-down Shirley Temple."(See all of Desson Thomson's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 550 words, 10/23/09
Peter Hartlaub, Houston Chronicle/San Francisco Chronicle: WEAK(cg) "...has a serious identity crisis, trying to be too many things at once and failing at most of them. There isn't a single good scare, and almost no menace."(See all of Peter Hartlaub's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 502 words, 10/23/09
Ty Burr, Boston Globe: MODERATE(cg) "...what a teenage boy might crave in a bloodsucker movie. Which is, basically, 'Bill and Ted's Night of the Living Undead.' "(See all of Ty Burr's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 553 words, 10/23/09
Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star-Tribune: MODERATE(cg) "It isn't really much, beyond a wry tone and a few earned laughs.... Paul Weitz can't get the jumble into coherent form."(See all of Colin Covert's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 483 words, 10/23/09
Stephen Whitty, Cleveland Plain-Dealer: MODERATE(cg) "...has no sense of magic or fun; the characters never seem to have anything at stake. It's just a lot of computer graphics and gleefully hamming-it-up actors."(See all of Stephen Whitty's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 475 words, 10/23/09
Mike Russell, Portland Oregonian: MODERATE(cg) "...competent without being spectacular or thrilling.... I suspect that little kids will enjoy 'Cirque du Freak' quite a bit..."(See all of Mike Russell's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 260 words, 10/23/09
Joe Williams, St. Louis Post-Dispatch: GOOD (NOT GREAT)(cg) "...when Weitz and writer Brian Helgeland try to drape a plot over the colorful characters, the movie goes fuzzy."(See all of Joe Williams's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 304 words, 10/23/09
Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel: GOOD (NOT GREAT)(cg) "...despite some amusing scenes and 'rules' for this vampire world, the script never sinks its teeth into the Cirque freaks and never once works up a decent fright."(See all of Roger Moore's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 393 words, 10/23/09
Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald: MODERATE(cg) "...a Frankenstein's monster of a movie, all stitches and seams and disparate parts.... has been tinkered with and tweaked so thoroughly, it borders on the incomprehensible."(See all of Rene Rodriguez's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 603 words, 10/23/09
Aaron Hillis, Village Voice/LA Weekly: WEAK "...suffers from the same tonal schizophrenia of that other recent goth wannabe, 'Jennifer's Body': Is it meant to be scary or funny? Oops, it's neither."(See all of Aaron Hillis's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 268 words, 10/21/09
Shaula Clark, Boston Phoenix: MODERATE(cg) "...despite a charisma-less teenage lead (Chris Massoglia) and a story that somehow both hurtles and drags through its condensed exposition, it has its charms..."(See all of Shaula Clark's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 162 words, 10/29/09
A.O. Scott, New York Times: FAIR "...incites curiosity tinged with confusion and irritation. It bristles with interesting ideas but tests its viewers' patience even as it strives to build their loyalty."(See all of A.O. Scott's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 844 words, 10/23/09
MOVIE INDUSTRY (3 Reviews)
Peter Debruge, Daily Variety: POOR "...it's too busy making impossible claims about just how spectacular its sequels will be to serve up a self-contained story with a satisfying finale."(See all of Peter Debruge's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 886 words, 09/29/09
Kirk Honeycutt, Hollywood Reporter: POOR "Miscalculation runs through the entire movie. The tone is all wrong, the effects are poorly used, and the acting styles range all over the place."(See all of Kirk Honeycutt's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 715 words, 10/23/09
A.O. Scott, New York Times: FAIR "...incites curiosity tinged with confusion and irritation. It bristles with interesting ideas but tests its viewers' patience even as it strives to build their loyalty."(See all of A.O. Scott's reviews...)(Read the full review...) 844 words, 10/23/09
16.2 Percentage Points Average Difference Between Reviews (Norm is 18.4pp; <18.4pp = More Consistent; >18.4pp = More Mixed)
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant's reviews are separated by an average 16.2 percentage points. The norm for this measure is 18.4 percentage points. Less than 18.4 indicates more consistent reviews; greater than 18.4 indicates more mixed reviews. In the chart below, each dot represents a review, with the dots at the top more positive than the dots at the bottom. From left to right, the dots represent reviews in big, bigger and biggest publications. Roll over each dot for more detail.
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (32 reviews) Roll over dots for each review
Coverage:Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant's reviews cover 64.9% of potential readers (average is 67.9%). Volume:The film's reviews total 12,920 words involume (average is 20,194 words). Length:The film's reviews average 404 words in length (the norm is 517 words).
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant Coverage, Volume & Length (32 Reviews, reviews below)
Reviews Broke 2.5 Hours After Release (Norm is 1.2 Release)
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant's reviews on average broke 2.5 hours after opening. Norm for this measure is 1.2 hours before. The chart below shows reviews on opening day and the days before and after opening; the left side is earlier and the right side is later. The red bars extending above the horizontal mid-line represent more positive reviews, and the red bars extending below represent more negative reviews. The white space/red bar in the middle is Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant's opening day. Click on any bar for a list of the reviews for that day.
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (32 reviews, click on bars for reviews)
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