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| 1. |
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01/22/09 |
Fair |
 "There's no excitement or terror in watching the 3-D execution of 2-D actors giving 1-D performances..." |
| 2. |
Village Voice Alternative Weeklies |
01/22/09 |
Fair |
"...the superior 3-D process is the only attraction... the movie's defeated by the plodding predictability of the stalk 'n' slash form." |
| 3. |
Village Voice Alternative Weeklies |
01/29/09 |
Poor |
 "...a 92-minute detainment in Sucksylvania." |
| 4. |
|
01/29/09 |
Poor |
"...deadly prequel explaining the roots of the bloodsucker-fangface grudge match is a 92-minute detainment in Sucksylvania.... too glum and humorless..." |
| 5. |
|
02/04/09 |
Excellent |
 "The world may not have needed a Thai-language martial-arts hybrid of 'Kill Bill' and 'Rain Man,' but by God, it's got one now.... More, please." |
| 6. |
|
02/05/09 |
Excellent |
"Though the plot just lets Pinkaew restage the same fight over and over on different sets, let it also be said that they get bigger and better each time..." |
| 7. |
|
02/11/09 |
Poor |
 "...you get three shoddy 'Friday the 13th' movies packed into one, which might constitute entertainment value if any one of them constituted entertainment." |
| 8. |
Village Voice Alternative Weeklies |
02/12/09 |
Poor |
"Entering its 30th year (see: cinema, decline of), the idiot offspring of 'Halloween' and Mario Bava's 'Twitch of the Death Nerve' 'reboots'..." |
| 9. |
|
02/12/09 |
Poor |
"Fanboys will resent director Marcus 'I Fucked Up 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' Remake' Nispel's perfunctory ax/machete/bear trap money shots..." |
| 10. |
|
03/04/09 |
Poor |
 "It's been 15 years since the first (and one presumed incorrectly, last) adaptation of the 'Street Fighter' video game, and the fumes are only now leaving theaters." |
| 11. |
Village Voice Alternative Weeklies |
03/05/09 |
Poor |
"...the rote fight scenes are a disappointment: Fans will get far bigger kicks (and highs) out of the ka-razy Thai import 'Chocolate'..." |
| 12. |
|
03/05/09 |
Poor |
"Idiot plotting and dialogue are what you'd expect from a genre that typically rewards narrative development with a skip function." |
| 13. |
|
03/18/09 |
Fair |
 "...a lugubrious thriller... By the time winged messengers arrive from on high, one longs for the hard-headed heresy of Michael Tolkin's 'The Rapture.' " |
| 14. |
Village Voice Alternative Weeklies |
03/19/09 |
Fair |
"Carefully coded so as not to scare away secular audiences who just wanna see stuff blow up... a lugubrious thriller..." |
| 15. |
|
03/19/09 |
Fair |
"...a glum hybrid of the 'Final Destination' movies, an Irwin Allen disaster bash, and the kitschiest parts of Darren Aronofsky's 'The Fountain.' " |
| 16. |
Village Voice Alternative Weeklies |
04/23/09 |
Weak |
 "...it would be a lot funnier without the directors' unforgivably bratty postsexist/postracist/posthuman showboating." |
| 17. |
|
04/23/09 |
Weak |
"...chat-show parodies, meta-manic video-game interludes and Tex Avery-style bloodshed.... Call it the most expensive Troma movie ever made..." |
| 18. |
|
05/20/09 |
Good (Not Great) |
 "...facile but fascinating... The filmmakers connect the dots of deep-seated conspiracy belief from militia-friendly Idaho to post-Katrina New Orleans... the doc charts a temperate middle course through its subjects' heated rhetoric." |
| 19. |
|
06/03/09 |
Good (Not Great) |
 "...considering what passes for a man's, man's, man's world in Todd Phillips's movies, women may feel grateful for their relative absence." |
| 20. |
Village Voice Alternative Weeklies |
06/04/09 |
Good (Not Great) |
"What proves consistent, as it did in 'Old School,' is the chemistry among 'Hangover's' three species of party mammalia." |
