|
| 1. |
|
07/22/10 |
Poor |
 "The final nail comes when the story goes from cutesy if disturbing to straight-up Dada. And how is this mess relevant to the title? Who the fuck cares." |
| 2. |
|
06/25/09 |
Poor |
 "...a 140-minute video game that will insult your intelligence, hurt your eyes, and offend your sense of decency until you worry that your skull might explode..." |
| 3. |
|
05/27/10 |
Poor |
 "The franchise is no longer about friendship or romance or the concerns of middle-aged-but-fabulous women. It's a marathon of shopping, eating, oooh-ing, and gasping." |
| 4. |
|
04/22/10 |
Poor |
 "...all fireballs and flat characters... humor that doesn't aim much higher than, say, a cut to a chihuahua bobblehead in terms of sophistication." |
| 5. |
|
02/25/10 |
Poor |
 "...excruciating... Willis phones it in... Morgan is completely wrong.... Smith's added to his résumé the action equivalent of 'Jersey Girl.' " |
| 6. |
|
05/27/10 |
Poor |
 "...the movie feels like a slavish final from a Romero 101 class. The dialogue's bad; the acting from its no-name cast worse.... That's a fail..." |
| 7. |
|
05/06/10 |
Poor |
 "...well-intentioned but terribly executed... more appropriate for a 3 a.m. slot on the Hallmark Movie Channel.... awkward dialogue renders the film nearly unwatchable..." |
| 8. |
|
04/01/10 |
Poor |
 "...strains to elicit outrage but instead comes across as a messy bore.... Why 'Formosa Betrayed' didn't go straight to DVD is a mystery of Rosebud proportions." |
| 9. |
|
02/11/10 |
Poor |
 "...a murky storyline... even if every scene were presented clear as day, it's likely you wouldn't always know what's going on, anyway -- and eventually won't care." |
| 10. |
|
01/28/10 |
Poor |
 "Goldin's film has a worthy message... It's so tritely and shallowly conveyed, though, that even at a mere hour-and-a-half, the story is intolerable." |
| 11. |
|
01/14/10 |
Poor |
 "...it's debatable whether the film's conclusion is satisfying enough to warrant the trudge through a whole not of nothing." |
| 12. |
|
10/22/09 |
Poor |
 "...pretentious... unequivocally ridiculous... some viewers may consider the film art but most will find it insufferable." |
| 13. |
|
08/20/09 |
Poor |
 "...more ridiculous than thought-provoking.... thin in addition to being silly." |
| 14. |
|
07/30/09 |
Poor |
 "...a little more levity might have saved the film from being such a morose slog." |
| 15. |
|
07/09/09 |
Poor |
 "...it's all filmic retread: schoolgirls swordfighting, Asians leap-flying through trees, 'You Never Can Tell' on the soundtrack -- which seems as out of place as 'Space Truckin'..." |
| 16. |
|
06/18/09 |
Poor |
 "...written by first-time scripter Peter Chiarelli, who apparently and unfathomably felt no shame over stuffing his film with what feels like every romantic-comedy cliché ever worn out." |
| 17. |
|
06/11/09 |
Poor |
 "The characters barely speak, and when they do, it's usually awkward small talk or fibs." |
| 18. |
|
05/07/09 |
Poor |
 "...the amount of muscle on display is the film's most remarkable aspect, unless you count how unforgivably dull it is." |
| 19. |
|
04/23/09 |
Poor |
 "...a complete disaster. The first rule of fight flicks? For God's sake, don't be boring. Instead of 'Fighting,' Montiel might have called his second feature 'Sleepwalking'..." |
| 20. |
|
04/16/09 |
Poor |
 "...as watchable as Miller and Sarsgaard may be, they're not enough to save the film. When Jane tells Art, 'Cleveland loves you. I love you!' you shouldn't have to wonder why." |
