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Adam Markovitz, Entertainment Weekly: FAIR (cg) " 'The Twilight Saga,' with its operatic gloom and straight-faced fantasy, is undoubtedly ripe for a smart, good-natured ribbing. This isn't it." (Read the full review...) 88 words, 08/20/10
Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times: POOR "...pointless parody..." (Read the full review...) 302 words, 08/19/10 Elizabeth Weitzman, New York Daily News: WEAK (cg) "...doesn't suck, exactly, but the laziness and lack of imagination kinda bites." (Read the full review...) 127 words, 08/20/10 Michael Ordoña, Los Angeles Times: MODERATE "...the usual mixed bag of hits and misses, but with more hits than expected.... enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality. Even its slack pacing -- it often feels as if it's holding for laughs -- recalls its sources." (Read the full review...) 283 words, 08/20/10 Rafer Guzman, New York Newsday: POOR (cg) "Why does 'Vampires Suck,' a spoof of the 'Twilight' franchise, feel undead on arrival? Probably because it has no heart." (Read the full review...) 315 words, 08/20/10 Bruce DeMara, Toronto Star: POOR (cg) "Parodies can be hilarious. This one sucks." (Read the full review...) 326 words, 08/18/10 Nick Pinkerton, Village Voice/LA Weekly: POOR "Many of the film's jokes, such as they are, consist of mentioning the titles of contemporary reality-TV shows, which should be a riot for viewers who think that their cable channel guide is the soul of wit." (Read the full review...) 214 words, 08/20/10 Andrew Dowler, Toronto Now: WEAK (cg) "...a mediocre 'Twilight' parody whose most repeated gag involves somebody being hit on the head and/or falling down. Funny moments erupt now and then..." (Read the full review...) 196 words, 08/19/10
Jen Chaney, Washington Post: POOR (cg) "...a painfully unfunny 'Twilight' spoof..." (Read the full review...) 546 words, 08/19/10 Peter Hartlaub, Houston Chronicle/San Francisco Chronicle: POOR (cg) "...looks like it cost less to make than the typical Bon Jovi video, mines gay stereotypes and manages not a single memorable joke at the expense of the easiest target in the world: Stephenie Meyer fans." (Read the full review...) 445 words, 08/20/10 Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel: POOR (cg) "...the sort of movie where 'finger food' is offered at a party. And it's fingers. Haw." (Read the full review...) 400 words, 08/20/10 Randy Cordova, Arizona Republic: POOR (cg) "...aggressively dumb, which isn't such a sin. But it is mostly unfunny, and that's living death in a movie like this." (Read the full review...) 206 words, 08/20/10 Natalie Southwick, Boston Globe: POOR (cg) "...provides enough recognizable references that Twi-hards with a sense of humor should feel included in the jokes, or inspired to make up their own. Non-'Twilight' fans would be better off surfing YouTube." (Read the full review...) 420 words, 08/20/10 Steve Persall, St. Petersburg Times: FAIR (cg) "...the jokes run dry long before the fadeout, and the movie's only 80 minutes counting end credits. Desperation is obvious..." (Read the full review...) 468 words, 08/19/10
Nick Pinkerton, Village Voice/LA Weekly: POOR "Many of the film's jokes, such as they are, consist of mentioning the titles of contemporary reality-TV shows, which should be a riot for viewers who think that their cable channel guide is the soul of wit." (Read the full review...) 214 words, 08/20/10 Zak Jason, Boston Phoenix: POOR (cg) " 'Vampires Suck.' And so does this movie." (Read the full review...) 150 words, 08/27/10 Nathan Rabin, AV Club: POOR (cg) "...merits commendation for such non-triumphs as telling a relatively coherent story, settling on one genre as a satirical target, and conveying a knowledge of its source material..." (Read the full review...) 368 words, 08/18/10 John Gholson, Cinematical: POOR "...almost bad enough to make me pity the 'Twilight' film series for being the subject of such limp, toothless mockery." (Read the full review...) 626 words, 08/18/10 Simon Abrams, Slant: POOR (cg) "...reeks as much as the vampire trend it's parodying. A characteristic work of monumentally lazy spoof comedy by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... a lot of the jokes aren't jokes at all, but rather, inexplicable predated pop culture references." (Read the full review...) 790 words, 08/18/10 Andrew Dowler, Toronto Now: WEAK (cg) "...a mediocre 'Twilight' parody whose most repeated gag involves somebody being hit on the head and/or falling down. Funny moments erupt now and then..." (Read the full review...) 196 words, 08/19/10
Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times: POOR "...pointless parody..." (Read the full review...) 302 words, 08/19/10 Michael Ordoña, Los Angeles Times: MODERATE "...the usual mixed bag of hits and misses, but with more hits than expected.... enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality. Even its slack pacing -- it often feels as if it's holding for laughs -- recalls its sources." (Read the full review...) 283 words, 08/20/10
Joe Leydon, Daily Variety: POOR "...this instantly forgettable trifle is fairly close to worthless. Brandishing obvious gags, uninventive slapstick and stale pop-culture allusions, the filmmakers only occasionally hit the bull's-eye while aiming at assorted easy targets provided by the teen angst and supernatural bloodletting of the ongoing 'Twilight' franchise." (Read the full review...) 578 words, 08/17/10 Frank Scheck, Hollywood Reporter: POOR "If you think Jacob peeing on a tree or Becca farting in Edward's face when he attempts to climb into bed with her are the height of comic wit..." (Read the full review...) 395 words, 08/18/10 Michael Ordoña, Los Angeles Times: MODERATE "...the usual mixed bag of hits and misses, but with more hits than expected.... enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality. Even its slack pacing -- it often feels as if it's holding for laughs -- recalls its sources." (Read the full review...) 283 words, 08/20/10 Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times: POOR "...pointless parody..." (Read the full review...) 302 words, 08/19/10
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